The clarity about confusion

There is this heart of mine that that is not co-operating with the agent brain. Reason and feeling are two different things and there chemistry is destruction of one of them… whichever is strong. Feelings are feelings, they exist in the air, and just like air cannot be arrested and even if arrested they burst into severe action. Several thoughts chase me…and somewhere the correlations don’t work well...I am chased by my thoughts and start wondering why people are like this. Morality and pride, they are sitting opposite to each other and are not looking eye to eye.

But to whom am I proving myself. Why do I require the certificate? From whom do I require a certificate? When I believe that my body is a thought from finger-tip to finger-tip and a beautiful creation of the Lord himself, why should I struggle to proof something to somebody…!!! Now what I am trying to proof and to whom I am trying to proof. The fight is internal and at no cost I will loose it. I will come from this fight unscathed or might get burn in it….but I will raise again…like a phoenix from the ashes. I will never give up at any cost and I will strive hard at living a life that is true to my self.

Now where do I stand now? I am clear about one thing that I am confused and I am trying to prove a point to myself. I am desperately insecure about myself and I want to prove that I am this and that. But at what cost…??? To whom am I proving this? This struggle is sweet and is like playing chess in the darkness. I am groping in the darkness which are the coins to be played and what is the play status now..????

Forgiveness is, sometimes the greatest thing that you can do to yourself. Forgive yourself and forgive the people who lie their feelings to you. Smile and make it their day as well as yours. At the end of the day…nobody has anything to loose.

Driving license at Iraq

Driving license at Iraq...no wonder each car blows-up....

Marriage

is a disciplined process for reproduction. People sometimes are lonely even though they are married. Marriage, sometimes, tends to be a ritual and most of us act into it. I have seen couples, seeming happy, hanging around shopping complex and in theatres. The female of the pair feels insecure about her future and the male worries about his job and future. Both of them, not living in the present and both of them smile at each other at regular intervals. My marriage was arranged one and I don’t have any regrets about it. One of the first things, I told my wife was regarding my freedom. I told her to live life as if she is living with her best friend. Fidelity, loyalty, etc is their and we love each other everyday and it is multiplying everyday. I respect her freedom and she respects mine. I, also revealed to her, that in fact she does not remember, what she was doing in her last birth and what she is going to be in the next birth. All we can think about was the present, and ways and means to keep ourselves happy during this moment. This can be done only by doing what we really believe is happiness. Her happiness is about having a secure future and settling down with life with loads of money after 5 years. I respect that idea of happiness. Happiness is sometimes, sum total of what you have missed in your previous bygone moments. Happiness is sometimes, relaxing the excess baggage we are carrying around, believing that this is life, whereas this is not actually what we intend to do.